Showing posts with label arranged marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arranged marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I'm Not Impressed

      Indian marriages along with their intriguing ways of working out has also brought along some jerks out into open who use women like testing fields for their own self and family. My friend was engaged to one such man before he called off the wedding after the wedding cards and invites were printed. His reason was rather simple- 'You didn't impress me.'
  So, it didn't strike him when he probably read up her profile or heard about her through his associates that she might not be able to impress him? After several meetings before coming to a decision, he didn't apply his mind? Must have been my fault. I thought he was a mind reader alongside being a brilliant man who decided that the girl must forsake her ongoing doctorate studies from the most reputed institution in the city after the wedding but not anytime sooner because merely telling his friends that his fiancee is pursuing the same gives him a sense of cheap pride in his friends circle of poorly-educated-wives.

      It was decided that she couldn't pursue her higher studies abroad after they got married because he's done the same. Where would that put him? A rung lower in his male chauvinistic society and thus that idea was turned down. In my world, you fell right down into the deepest pit, buddy. (And then punctured the earth and fell right through it)

 I guess he must have thought one fine day after half a year that he needed some fun in life. It's just that who he decided to inflict it upon turned out to be a great lady. He wasn't impressed with her because she didn't dress according to his likes and didn't express farce concern over a pretending son's depression to her future mother-in-law. He wasn't impressed because she didn't do her hair the way he wanted to and what not.What doesn't impress him next? The name? My date of birth? How about a permanent change in the colour of the eyes because you can't stare into the independence and strength of it, oh great one?

  These sort of men and women sicken me. Starting from my gut, it pours out completely in a nauseating way. She didn't impress you? What is she, a machine that has no mind of its own but that which abides by whatever you say? I'm plainly appalled at the way certain people can consider a prospective partner let alone a woman.

In all cases, even if the mistake is on the groom's side, the girl is being blamed and called names. She is to put up with all the wrong sides to the situation and her family is visibly upset. The guy, you ask?
He's sitting abroad, stretching his feet on the table and wondering what he shall do next in all his 'open-mindedness' and 'easy going nature' as his profiles might state..Which brings up a question. Are women mere living beings that need to impress men? The reasons men 'reject' women are increasingly galling and so are those men who think themselves to be the epitome of perfection and character. A small slap in the face would be to know that they are nowhere near that that. It disgusts me that some people can be so shallow and without any valid reason for their actions that causes deep pain to another.
What makes men and their families take such crude moves? I am unable to grasp a concept bereft of logic or emotions.
Is it because one is gender-wise a man?
Well, every other way.such people prove not to be. (Humans even)
Source:Google images


Disclaimer : Not all men are jerks,but the one I have mentioned above...Ah, he is indeed one.

She is one of the nice girls I know who is very well educated, well-mannered and holistically a great woman. I may not know her as a very close friend of mine, but she being a close friend of someone else who is very close to me, I know her in decent form. Even our short meetings and phone conversations have always been pleasant and so, when I heard what the person had to go through, it shook me with anger. I thought that I should perhaps touch upon these happenings as it is not the first time that I am seeing it happen on a personal level. Frankly, it's the guy's loss and the girl's good luck. No one has to put up with a 'man' like this with a mind so manipulative and finicky. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Her life that they paint...

She weaved a sheepish smile at the mention of his name,
and giggled like a girl unlike the laughter of a woman I wanted to see.
Screens acted as saviours and telephonic voices were all that she heard.
There are people around, friends and family
who know how she likes her eggs and the mood she is by her strewn slippers..
yet she seems to love that man who comes online
or who she meets with consent of families, a grown-up thing I never did understand.
What about silent glances and stealthy kisses?
Where is the secret of love?
I stare as blatantly as I can to grasp the system that keeps slipping off
my cheesy hands and
a heart very easily flattered by poetry.
I try to see the love, the fights and the memorable moments that shall flash
through her eyes as she gets married,
but what if there are no memories?
What if casual conversations are all that reach the mind that tries
to tame the already trained heart to bring out a questionnaire to know the other?
Where does that feral hope of every woman go,
the one who waits for a dashing young man to speed by and catch her unawares?
Probably there is some logic that my small (or fat?) head seems to reject...
It has created a population that beats most of the world.
All this picks up its pace in my jumbled brain as she bows down
with a twitch near the corner of her lips and a hesitant smile.
Waiting to start a new life with someone she may just hardly know.
I wonder if it works like a different kind of weed.. full of excitement and expectations..
I look through the falling petals
for I know the mehendi on her hands will grow red even if he doesn't know her...
but, will he stare at it smiling, looking at her and kissing them as they grow dry?


                                         Photo from the internet.

Hemu