Sunday, May 27, 2012

Speak up!

Meaningful conversations are few, intellectual discussions are rare and a lovely debate treating the other as an equal happens once in a blue moon. But what happens very easily, like snapping one's fingers arises counterattacks in an argument owing to reasons silly, stupid or even on a higher plane of thought.. but the approach just brings down the whole level of importance and pertinence of the subject as the topic finds it's way down into deep blue seas while we just end up with the skim of an oil layer on its surface- mucky, icky and annoying.

   I am a person who enjoys everything of the above to a good deal. Invariably conversations, discussions and debates arise only in a circle of close friends whose thoughts and ideas vary from mine, but knowing our base and the underlining factor is the same. Sometimes, it so happens that conversations and discussions with many others that I might initiate leads to arguments, which might not be as healthy as the above.

     Having an inclination towards the notion of women to be treated for who they are, varied views on religion and spirituality and the ever living subject of love, sex and life as such,  I always land up in discussions-turned-arguments. Though I may not enjoy the rather diversified opinions of chauvinism or practices that don't have any relevance to the current world, I must say I thoroughly enjoy and have fun talking about it with logic, rationality and some emotion. But, what saddens me nowadays is the unwillingness of people to ever sort out differences or atleast talk about the different views without involving oneself's emotions riding an upper hand.

   Frankly, I guess I was on that side.. I used to let my emotions, rage and anger fall through with the words that I say. I have even felt like slapping a few in my hotheadedness. But looking back at it all, I feel silly to have done it. I realize it's of no use getting agitated in a debate as it doesn't put one's point across while rational, logical points do. Neither am I going to say that I don't involve my emotions in any sort of such scenarios. But to know and realize that the whole exchange is fun-filled, an opportunity to learn and converse, to know that that very essence has been lost in a whole crowd nowadays is sad.

 As I did mention earlier, many discussions have been turned into arguments nowadays. To know that people you love might have a wrong notion about something (Well, so may I. But that is what a conversation is all about, isn't it?)
and it might directly come in the way of your life or of someone else's whom you care about, is not a great feeling. It is not an interference but a mutual togetherness towards betterment and understanding.

   What I do want to tell people is to just stand up and talk and not discontinue when a small spark of conflict arises. Friends bond after fights, families hold a difference in opinion always, relationships' parties have a necessity to know the others' mind and for the last cheap happiness of having gotten a message across to a total stranger are all tiny little facts whose personal stories run across the skies. Everyday I see more and people moving away from talking about or indulging in healthy arguments about the issues that don't go along with them.

  What is there to fear? Why is it so difficult to say what one has on one's mind? From many personal experiences, I have noticed people getting away from an argument or a debatable topic. There are times when you need to preserve another's ego and moments when you have to shatter it for the good of both parties involved. And it so happens that some of them even perceive and think I might want to start a fight if I put a point across firmly.. Why have we reached a state where a healthy conversation turns into an unhealthy phenomenon, where cartoons are beginning to lose their very essence called humour in the eyes of many with the happy and full-bodied life going in for a toss.

   I am not asking you to initiate fights but spark off conversations. Let's all try to open up our minds and pour out our conventions and ideas.. to plunge into great talk and not always small ones.. to discuss what bothers oneself and find solutions.. to lead a new revolution, to learn to speak our minds and argue like crazy animals in a fight yet developing a maturity to drop it when need be and to have dinner or tea together. For only he is a truly evolved human being who can respect another persons' opinion while retaining his own and debating or discussing it about it for the greater good.
 I think we should all stop fighting cold wars, drop our inhibitions and talk without fear. So, yeah, Speak up, mate! :)

P.S : I must warn you that indulging in a discussion or debate without an open mind is of no use and you might as well stay away from one if you have no intentions of finding out the truth.

Images from the internet 


  1. Nice post, Today in the name Diplomatic manner we are avoiding the naked truth and tending towards the softening lie.

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  4. A very thought-provoking and well penned post, Hema :-)

    I have had numerous arguments with my friends in the past (Be it for books, movies, music, or academics) without getting agitated or becoming emotional.

    We must learn to recognize our differences and respect each other's opinions. Because, that's what makes us humans, unique from animals/beasts.

    Keep blogging and looking forward to read more posts on the same lines :-)

  5. Nice post!!

    Well many don't argue becoz, they become lazy to take the argument forward...I usually don't argue with a stranger unless it has something to do with my dignity or something...otherwise wid frnz i don't mind even if they ridicule me..i never bother....!! :P

    If u want tell me...we can have a hot boiling discussion turned arguments!! :D hehe...

    Good read by the way Hema!!

  6. @gopala Krishnan, true.. we have lost ourselves in a lot of superficial diplomacy.

    @sowmya- Sure man. And I think thats' what makes a good relationship. Learning to taalk about the differences while still respecting them.

    @Kally- adada. Sure thing. You tell venue, time and for how much you are going to sponsor. lol ;)

  7. I have met very few people who can speak about something without bringing emotion into it. I agree, it is human to be sentimental/emotional about certain things, but when it comes to speaking with the sole intention of debate, it is necessary to be remain unbiased and not influenced by irrational thoughts stemming from emotion. I have noticed that people tend to become defensive and difficult to speak to when they are taken out of their comfort zone. For some, new and radical ways of thinking are simply too discomforting to even think about, making them take a very defensive stance. Lesson: it is not for us to decide what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' - or, what the person we are speaking to must accept, and what he/she must not (or 'can' not?). :)

  8. I love the way you've written this. I can almost see your train of thought! :)

  9. having a talk is different to having a conversation in my view. we talk to a lot of people everyday- friends, colleagues, strangers....but we dont have to have thoughtful conversations with them - i rarely do- i have better things to do then talk to people who will never get what you are talking about- waste of my valuable time...but give me a select group of friends of similar tastes and we can have what i known as a frank conversation- no holds barred- despite how hot the flow is -no one will get burned or take offense but it will stimulate the entire group- now that's the kind of discussion i want and indulge in

  10. @ The Great Raisin- True. People have become increasing defensive and some are not even able to tolerate another persons' opinion. All of us are too comfortable to stay where we are. and Thank you :)

    @Ganesh Puttu ji- You are right about that na.. Actually I indulge in actual conversations and talks with only three or four of my friends as the others I know of never listen to me and just make fun or ask me to stop 'lecturing' when I begin to put my point across. The sole intention I have is for the people of today to speak up without inhibitions but also to respect the others' opinions. Anyone out of the other category are probably not worth talking to...for they never listen.


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